+ . . [ [ :: the angel in disguise

Sunday, October 30, 2005

What does being a friend really mean to you?

You value your friendships: 75%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

the quiz

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:25 PM

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

the quiz

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:19 PM

My personality love style.

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

the quiz

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:06 PM

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

the quiz

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:29 PM

The Real Me.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

the quiz

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:21 PM

i realised.. a lot pf people around me are feeling upset.. though some of them.. i duno the reason behind.. but i felt the pain in them too.. no doubt.. we are very close.. used to be close or just friends..

i cried.. for the one that mean so much to me.. i dont wish to see her unhappy.. i dont wish to see her like this.. what i want for her is real happiness..

i have no right in saying all this.. coz im a failure in love.. but den.. im really very sad lor...

to gal... okie.. i noe she wun get to read this.. but den.. still.. feel lyk posting ya.. duno wat made you upset.. but seriously.. hope you will be fine and be happy with your life.. the gal i noe is alwayz very cheerful de.. i wana see that alright..

to van.. still.. we aint really in talking terms.. knowing tat she is kind of sad.. maybe over relationship.. wanted to console her.. but yet.. restrict myself.. "where the hell do i have the right to console her?" - i wish that i will find excuse to continue posting something.. but.....

to myself.. why did i mind so much?

ANGEL_scribbled * -9:59 PM

you mean more than anything to me!

not feeling good recently.. the reason behind.... the one that mean a lot a lot to me...

a simple reason.. i just want to see you happy.. UNDERSTAND?

a relationship.. the most important element is being happy together with each other and not just material wise kind of happiness.. talking about caring, friends and sister care too.

i want to see the real you.. the real sister that I had in the past.

If you said you are happy with your life now, why cant I see it?

If you said he really love and dote you so much, why cant I see it too?

If you said he really knows how you feel, why I cant see that happiness in you?

Is he really the one you want?

Im not scolding.. Im not telling you how bad is he or wat.. I believe you are mature enough to think of all this.

If you are really happy.. i will be happy for you too.. no doubt the person is someone who's attitude that we dun really like.. we will still be happy for you..

but wat i see now.. is not happiness.. yet giving in and giving in and giving in.. how long can you give in? how long can you enjoy the material wise happiness?

Is he the only one that will be there for you when you need someone? den how about me? im just a call away too.. any time, any where.. if you really need me.. i wouldnt rush down meh? even if i got school.. i will also skip school for you.. knowing me for so long.. don't you know my character?

it's true that what you want, he can get it for you. Have you ever wonder, it's bcoz of this reason that he keep you by his side? keep you and stay away from the "right person" you should be with?

Or... is he the right one that you think you should be with?

Remember when, whenever we needed each other
The best of friends like sisters
We understand we'd never be alone
Those days are gone, now I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don't wanna be alone tonight

ANGEL_scribbled * -9:50 PM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

罗志祥 - 催眠

人群里面那个我把幸福遗落
那曾经走过的路口我停了你却走
我想捂住我的耳朵听不见你说
爱就在此刻松手分手放手
我猜不透不猜透
和你背对背的走
原来怪我没有
没有爱情的天分你才要走

我想要学会自我催眠
痛觉会少一些
潜意识作祟想着想到失眠

我躺在没有你的房间
寂寞更加明显
我渐渐的自我催眠
却回不到从前

等着红灯那个我还会向前走
也许那幸福的执着在下一个路口
专属铃声我还留着却静静沉默
在我们之间爱了放了散了
我会不说不想说
怕说了也没有用
现在我的幽默
只是掩饰着心痛我的难过
聪明再多一些
我走在没有你的世界
却走不到永远
慢慢闭上双眼

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:45 PM

simply love these 3 songs a lot.. it contain a lot of meaning and a lot of hope.. i like. =)

i feel lyk blogging.. but i duno wat to blog.. just wana hide everything.. so tat no one will noe how am i really feeling..

wat's missing....?? wat is the missing part of me?

k... suddenly.. im speechless... shall go to rest instead or continue my vcd..

i dun wana blog le..........

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:30 PM

杨丞琳 - 理想情人

穿上洋装看着手表
时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了

金色的阳光洒满人行道
换了新唇膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好

喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份

好想知道你的100分
会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等

听着那时间滴答的走
对街的你在点头
好像一个梦渐渐走到我前头

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:25 PM

杨丞琳 - 只想爱你

我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音像舞动奇迹

你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静
忽远又忽近

我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味

只想爱你
当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定

只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避
sorry我还是不会放弃爱你
sorry我还是不会放弃
我还是不会放弃爱你

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:23 PM

杨丞琳 - 暧昧

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情
还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还是你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人
是不是同一个
真实的你

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你
写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:21 PM

been quite some time ever since i last blogged.. hmm.. update about recent stuff first ya..

FIRST!! very very very very sorry to mei zhen, jessica and mei yun.. really very sorry.. if im not late den we will be able to meet up with eric le.. so so so sorry.. hai you all go to school for nothing. very sorry wor.. treat you all drinks k? felt so guilty sia.. sOb sob..

SECOND!! this is the last week of his holiday.. but he's still as busy and sick... hmmm.. rest well k... and get well soon... =) it's okie tat we din meet this week.. next week den meet lor... fyp is much more important ya... i understand de.. =)

THIRD!! nothing much about my life.. every day seems like a routine to me.. go to sch.. lesson.. go out.. go home.. slp.. and the next day.. sch again.. boring rite?

FOURTH!! emotional side of me.. actually.. i shld really be contented about my life.. but den.. something is missing.. wat is "tat something"? i really wish to know.. but den.. i dun seems to find any answer to my question..

FIFTH!! im going all out for my studies.. last sem le.. muz really study hard.. and for fyp oso...

SIXTH!! ....... i duno wat to say anymore..... ahaha...

ANGEL_scribbled * -9:59 PM

Thursday, October 20, 2005

if loving someone needs a reason,
then it wont be true love.
love comes from the heart,
not from the brain.

sometimes.. hiding the feeling is better than showing out.. at least.. it wun be hurtful... i swear to myself i wun cry anymore.. but yet.. im still not strong enough to control my tears..

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:58 PM

presentation just ended.. i finished my RJ too le.. hmmm.. today end early.. and it's very early... i just mention HR made my time passed quickly.. den diaoz... today end so early.. oh my... -_-

quick review on my result for this sem.. i just realised.. A is easy to score.. =X not proud alright.. ppl who noe me.. shld noe tat.. it's a BIG DEAL for charmaine to score A...!! or perharps.. im just plain too lazy in the past? wat a waste to realise it during the last sem? diaoz..

sales management and HR management are the 2 modules tat i keep getting As. im good in managing right? ahaha.. joking.. just by luck bah.. maybe new to the 2 modules.. den got a lot of questions to ask therefore my fac take it as im participating well in class..

i think i need to work real hard this sem in order to get good grades and good GPA points! I WILL WORK HARD.. jia you for me alright!! =)

FYP been processing quite smoothly.. though we dun have much ideas left le.. hopefully this current idea can be passed by eric.. =) i think we really worked hard for FYP lor.. beside tat.. my brain cells are almost killed by the amount of interesting/lame ideas i thought of.

im really working hard in either school work or project le.. really hope my effort will be well paid off...

robin mention a point to me just now.. actually.. im not quite afraid bah.. coz.. work is work.. personal is personal.. if i put in effort le.. no matter how he/she evaluate me.. it's also base on him/her ma.. how can i "be careful"? been frenz for so long le.. i dun believe he/she will be so evil bah.. somemore it's not tat i din do anything right? by the way, i never ever dislike or hate him/her.. and i never do anything that will harm him/her.. somemore i still treat him/her as per normal.. why will him/her treat me badly lei? so.. dun worry about me k, robin..? i will be fine ya.. EVEN if it really happens... I also cant do anything but to accept whatever grade that im going to get right? =)

i noe.. im still a kid.. you all are worried about me.. sometimes i might be too naive to believe in watever others said.. sometimes i might be too trusting in people that i thought they will treat me good.. but even if.. there's a day.. they really back stab me or did anything that is very evil to me.. I also cant do anything but to accept the fact tat.. he/she is my frenz.. at least for once..

hmm... shall not talk about all this le bah.. will make me feel very.... hmmmm.. weird..

i feel that im the indirect cause of you getting the result that you are expected for. sorry, sorry, so sorry... must really work hard for this last semester k.. so tat you can get into U... =)

oh ya.. dun have to wear formal next week le.. YUppie!! =) ahaha.. actually ivy is quite nice ma.. hmmm.. she is a nice fac ya..

my dearest darling mei.. appointment on next friday alright? please dun forget about it.. location and time will be confirmed on next wednesday k? heex.. HAPPY!! can meet up le!! hUgz!

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:49 PM

i said i will thankz this particular person.. coz.. he been treating me real well.. THANKZ SOMBO.. my dearest new classmate! ahaha.. =)

meizhen.. pls dun mistaken.. ahem..

anyway.. thanks for the sweet and thanks for the delifrance.. yuMmy.. so much better than school food.. ahaha.. =)) he is a nice guy.. mei zhen can consider ar.. opps.. i forgot he is mavis's.. =x

anyway.. having HR today.. fun fun.. ahaha.. joke a lot sia.. jane and i busy arguing about this certain question about what are the actions to be done by the HR in order to recruit a candidate.. ahaha..

im falling in love with HR.. this module made my time pass very very quickly.. and.. now is 2... it will be 5 very soon.. ahaha..

actually.. im quite tired ya.. i forgot.. i slept late yest.. dad din fetch me to sch today.. and i have to go myself.. pathetic.. i woke up at 730.. leave my hse at 8.. took a bus at 810.. reach sch around 845.. rush to my class.. THEY HAVING TEST!! diaoz.. why did i rush to sch den? ahem! make me so pai seh sia.. when i enter the class and cant find my team, den the fac tell me they are having test.. so i have to be back at 9... so pathetic right? imagine.. i rushed to sch.. den in the end, lesson start late..

presenting le... shall be back to blog later..

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:02 PM

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

a dream..

dream normally reflect to daily life?

but why dreaming of me.. become... so censored? hmMmm.. i wonder... why... do i look seductive or something? no.. im not.. diaoz.. dreaming of me is alright.. but why keep thinking or dreaming of being intimate wif me.. a bit... scary lei.. diaoz.. -_-

izzit that he really wanted to be with me so much that he is willing to do anything? i noe he is trying to tell me something.. something lyk.. im in his mind now.. and i mean a lot to him?

but den.. still the same.. i treat him as a frenz.. and nothing more than that.. at least for now.. i feel nothing to him at all...

it nearly freak me out.. but after much thought.. it's common for guys to think of "that" izzit? hmm.. i duno.. my lao gong.. did tell me about this.. but.. i never once treat him as a guy.. ahaha.. so i wun feel offended or anything big deal about it..

maybe.. i shall not think so much about it.. dun wish to feel....

anyway.. test today is alright.. i will score well hopefully.. manage to finish everything in time.. lucky... though im late for test.. heex..

yang cheng ling's ai mei is nice.. and i think i only lyk a few of her songs.. hmMmm..

going to present soon le.. shall be back to blog later..

- miss you.

ANGEL_scribbled * -1:39 PM

Monday, October 17, 2005

i want..

SHE - zhen ming tian nu CD/DVD
Xiao Zhu - Cui Mian CD
Fish Leong - Si Lu CD
Jay Chou - latest album.. - i duno the name yet.. =x
S.H.E - coming album - i also duno the name..
Sun Yan Zi - wan mei de yi tian CD
Yang Chen Ling - Ai Mei CD

ahaha.. a lot a lot.. diaoz.. i think im getting one by one slowly sia.. hmm.. i dun mind anyone buy for me as a gift.. ahaha.. =x opps.. just kidding..

damn sick sia.. not feeling well for the whole day.. in term of mood.. or physical or mentally.. IM NOT OKIE.. not FINE AT ALL... sObz..

i admit.. mood swinging.. but more on.. feeling sad.. over things tat i dun even noe wat im thinking.. dun even wana feel the way i feel..

watch skeleton key just now.. not scary at all.. hmmm.. actually it's kind of too late to watch the movie le.. but i promised to watch with baby de.. so in order not to disappoint her.. we watched it in the end.. not a very nice show.. hmmm.. quite lame ya..

i watched April Snow le.. eh.. lame too.. i also lyk romantic show.. but it looks more lyk a R(A) show den a... romantic show? hmmm.. so.. conclusion.. not nice.. -_-

diaoz.. recently got no nice show aR? hmm.. thinking of watching "the wig".. shld i? i shall scare myself to tears.. and cry out loud in the cinema.. or watch some super touching show to cry and cry.. duno.. just feel lyk crying out loud!!

HR test tml.. i haven study.. but im well prepared.. coz i paid attention to all my lesson.. coz.. someone asked me to do so.. hmmm.. hopefully i will score well lor.. =)

got no appetite at all.. shall not eat le ya.. somemore.. it's late le.. fattening sia.. heex.. =x ON DIET!! maine must jia yoU!! =x

missing darling mei so much now.. soB.. when will she free lei?? LING.. I NEED YOU BADLY!!

ah gong and i argued about missing someone.. he told me.. it sucks to miss someone when tat person doesnt miss u.. or dun really care.. if u like someone.. n tat person tell u tat he miss u.. wont u be really happy? ..n it will affect u alot loh? - it really affect me a lot.. when the one i miss.. missing me too....

oh my.. tears roll down coz.. someone noticed the CD i look at when we were out together.. i just take a look at it only.. and he noticed and sent me the songs that I want.. i thought.. im no longer impt to him anymore.. i thought.... sorry.... i noe i shld not anyhow think... sorry.. i shld not be silly.. sorry.. sorry...

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:29 PM

sometimes.. i wonder.. am i still tat impt to you? am i still the one you wana be with? am i still the one you love? am i still the one you miss? am i still the one.....

maybe.. im just thinking too much......

whatever.....

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:22 PM

Saturday, October 15, 2005

pathetic.. im actually angry with myself.. throwing my own temper.. slam all the thing i can.. watever.. this is so damn pathetic.. how can i be so blur to that extend!!!!

speechless sia.. i dun wana cry.. dun wish to be upset too.. but.. cant blame.. im really very angry with myself.. why did i see the time wrongly.. how long will i take to have my test.. i wana pass so i can start my lesson at wait for advance lor.. but why am i so blur to that extend!! ARGH!!!!

ANGEL_scribbled * -5:44 PM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

i swear.. im not a good gal.. never will i be...

hurting.. and hurting.. im only capable of hurting people.. the one who love me.. the one who teng me.. the one who want me.. the one who cherish.. the one who is always there for me.. i am always the one hurting them and casuing pain and misery to them.

i always make people worry for me.. always make people sad bcoz of me.. always make people cry bcoz of me.. i din wan to be lyk tat.. i dun wana hurt anyone.. but yet.. why am i always the one causing pain to others?

how much i wish i will be happy.. how much i wish i will be contented.. how much i wish i will never ever bother about anything.. how i wish.. i wish..

the princess is always a princess.. she always demand for more.. she will never be content..

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:01 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

the crave of sashimi

i feel lyk eating sashimi.. suddenly.. got the crave to eat it.. yum yum yum.. I WANA EAT IT.. SOMEONE PLS GET IT FOR ME AND DELIVER IT TO ME!! im not hungry.. i just feel lyk eating!!

k.. i think im mad.. sob..

bored!! sch is boring! i seems to drag myself to sch everyday.. oh my oh my...

in case you are confuse over the pic with a pinky blur blur image.. it's actually a hp accessories from my brother. it's cute but den very noisy.. bcoz it's a bell bell piggy head.

quite a few presents this year.. like what ling said.. presents are getting lesser and lesser.. hmm.. lesser ppl celebrating.. lesser ppl remembering.. duh~ and of coz lesser ppl give present la..

but den.. im still very content!! i got my beloved darlings to celebrate with me!! and everyone there are close to me to celebrate with me.. im really very content!! =)

when's school going to end? im really getting more and more bored!! -_- *yawnz!

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:36 PM

presents from the special ones.

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:34 PM

cakes

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:32 PM

SILOSO. maine. serene.

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:32 PM

Sunday, October 09, 2005

the celebration

sweet 20 to me.. =)

finally.. it's the day i dun look forward to.. coz.. it's when the fact tat.. im 19 turning 20... a "2" in front seems to "old".. I DUN WANA GROW UP! someone wana pei me old worz.. hmm.. actually.. he got no choice.. coz he is still "older" den me no matter wat.. ahaha..

part one

met my jies on thur. mc jie treat us eat fish & co.. finally.. i got to eat tat.. hmm.. well.. quite nice.. i quite like it.. heex.. had a long chat.. gathering ma.. den something embarassing happened.. crews frm fish & co actually made all the people whose bday fall on that day to stand on the chair and everyone sang bday song for them.. alright.. obviously.. my beloved jies "sabo" me.. im asked to hold the sparkling stick and made to stand on the chair and recieve bday wishes from everyone.. =) after that, jie bring out the little cake she bought for me.. it's sweet you noe.. as in.. my jies.. remembered my bday.. and made such an arrangement for me.. they still bought me pressiz... THANKS JIES!!!!! =) love you lot lot!!

part two

second part of bday.. hmm.. it's that meal on fri.. i celebrate with the special someone.. went marche for dinner and we almost finsh "visiting" every building in town. from hmv to paragon.. paragon to taka.. taka to wisma.. wisma to tang.. tang to far east.. wah.. "long walk"!! ahaha.. but throughout the long walk.. i had been bullied tons of time by tat BULLIER! and he just bully me NON STOP! hmpf.. how interesting hor?! ahem.. bully me on my bday eve! hmpf... i got pressiz of coz.. and the meal is on him.. i wana pay oso cannot lei.. i scared he "beat" or "scold" me.. ahaha.. =x

part three

third part.. actually.. i took the meal at sushi tei as 3rd part too k? heex.. coz.. finally.. i went sushi tei for the sashimi.. wah!! it's nice!! very nice!! though i was quite full at tat moment.. but i still managed to finish my sashimi.. i think it's baby who ordered it for me.. well.. thankz.. but den.. thankz william for the meal.. hmm.. actually i din eat much.. but i ate the most expensive stuff.. ahaha.. =x bao bei, kelly, baby and daniel eat lyk they never eat anything before.. ahaha.. well.. i mean, they are hungry.. heex..

part four

forth part.. ruSh.. a lot of people came.. and waited for quite some times for me to reach there.. sorry worz.. i tried my best to be fast le.. yet.. traffic jam.. -_- well, i shall mention who came first.. xiaomei, jayius, zhi jian, nicholas, bao bei, kelly, daniel, william, jasper, adeline, nelly jie and of coz baby.. recieved prezzie of coz.. i got cake too.. made another wish.. and drink a lot.. vomited of coz.. but not bcoz im drunk.. it's bcoz.. im too full.. pathetic isnt it? was quite "sadded" that my beloved wasnt here.. as in.. MY DARLING MEI!! but well.. it's okie.. coz i noe she dun lyk rush.. another pathetic incident.. im the bday gal, yet.. not the one tat got drunk tat night.. baby, bao bei, daniel and kelly were drunk ya.. eh.. when we never order much drinks and they are drunk.. diAoz.. this proved that they are lousy.. =x ahaha..

part five

fifth part.. actual day.. sat.. sentosa.. i woke up at 8am when i slept around 5 the previous night. went out with dad and mum for breakfast.. accompanied them to deliver wine to a customer.. den ate my fav. prawn mee.. and went ntuc to buy food for pinic at sentosa in the afternoon.. came home around 11 plus and start preparing the food.. yummy.. it's nice right? heex..

my sister and brother are suppose to come along.. but they aint free.. coz my sister are having her exam.. and no one is there to take care of him.. so mummy dun allow.. hmmm..

meet ling at harbour front den gather with huishan at siloso.. my darling mei eat eat eat non stop.. ahaha.. bao bei and kelly join us after tat.. went for cycling and take pictures with my darlings!! FUN FUN FUN!! but very tired after tat.. we went home around 7 plus.. i guessed everyone enjoyed a lot ya.. =)

part six

after sentosa.. went harbour front to buy food home.. decided to cook ourselves instead.. coz maine's cooking is nice!!! ahaha.. =x went baby's house for mahjong session.. bao bei, baby, kelly and i played 1 round while waiting for jasper to come over.. around 1130 going to 12.. i cut another cake from ling and huishan.. it's the 3rd cake.. shared this cake with bao bei, coz her bday is on the 10th.. i made 3 wishes in total.. ahaha..

played for the whole night and win a bit ya.. overall.. happy.. but tired!

--------------------

thankz those who remembered this little day. =)

i have to mention their name right.

perfect family - dad, mum, mei and bro
darling mei
dearest sunzi
baby
bao bei
pei shan aiai
michelle jie
karen jie
sihui mei
connie da jie
ming hong ah pa
robin ah gong
kenneth lao gong
liming nu er
eugene ah gong
nicholas
meiyun
ally
kelly
jian bao
zhi jian
daniel
xiao mei
jayius
nicholas
jasper
jennifer
jessica
ah yi
xiang xiang

and of coz... tat bullier silly blurblock panda! =x

for those that i forgot.. sorry.. i got poor memory sia.. i tried to remember all le. heex..

anyway.. i enjoyed my bday.. hope that my wish will come true... and only fate will decide... =)

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:46 PM

Thursday, October 06, 2005

fast update alright.. see when im free den update in detail..

tired.. tired.. im tired.. as in.. physically and mentally.. just feeling very tired!!

tired to the extend of having the thought of quiting school.. tired to the extend of staying at home everyday just to have enough rest!!

meet jies.. happy about the outing.. fish & co food is nice.. did a lot of stupid things there.. ahaha.. fun.. and for that period of time.. i forgot about "everything"..

- i never say anything.. coz i dun wan anyone to be worry about me.. i said im fine.. so that i will "assumed" that im fine! i dun wana be a burden to anyone.. i dun wana be the one having problems all the time.. i din mean to feel sad.. i din mean to cry.. but just......... sorry.. i think im being too disturbing... i shld not disturb anyone... -

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:42 PM

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

When a girl is quiet and is alone,
She is thinking of you and she misses you.

When a girl is lying on her bed,
She is thinking deeply why she loves you.

When a girl looks at you in your eyes,
She wants to tell you how much she loves
you and how important you are to her.

When a girl answers "I'm Fine" after a while,
She is not and feels hurt.

When a girl keep asking you the same question,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl hugs you while sleeping,
She is wishing that you belong to her forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
She Miss You and wants your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
She cares for you and she wants to know how
are you today.

When a girl sends message to you everyday,
She wants you to know she is fine.

When a girl says I love you,
She really means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are hers future husband.

When a girl says "I Miss You",
She wants to see you immediately.

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:11 PM

school is fine today.. as in.. classmates and stuff... hmmm... not tat bad la.. =)

firstly.. shall blog about my dream in case.. i forgot..

had a dream last night.. the dream consist of ppl tat are close to me. of coz.. my darling mei.. my dearest sun zi.. baby.. kelly.. jove.. zhi jian.. nicholas.. eugene.. my aiai.. miao zhen.. my cousins.. my sister.. my brother.. my perfect family.. perfect frenz.. perfect dearest.. they are there to attend my wedding.. ahaha.. i wore a beautiful gown.. holding my daddy's hand.. walking into a church. i wonder why a church.. coz im not a christian.. not suppose to be holding my wedding in a church.. but yet.. i dreamt of it la.. ahaha.. my darling mei is my bridemaid.. my dearest sister too.. my brother get to open the door for me.. and finally get to receive his long wanted ang bao.. the feeling is so strong.. it's so true.. im the blessed gal.. getting all blessing from my family and frenz.. as for the blessed guy.. hmmm.. he should noe who he is bah..

i woke up with a "huh?" ahaha.. why would i dream of such a thing? ahaha.. so funny.. so weird.. so....... FUNNY...

i got "ai xin" breakfast today.. of coz.. it's from baby.. if not who will specially wake up early in the morning to bring me breakfast in the early morning.. hmMmm.. thankz a lot worz.. =)

actually sales management can be interesting.. i just realised after knowing more about it.. looking forward to HR management on thur.. heex.. well.. im still quite clever ar.. i manage to solve the problem of the day.. my teacher praise my group for having the nicest presentation.. heex.. =) cOol.. from the 14 sildes.. i did 8 of it and conclude our final answer.. im powerful right? ahaha..

alright.. time to go home le ya.. 6P is fast.. wah.. im starting to fall in love with my teacher.. he is fast sia!! and tat also means.. we can go home early!! YEAH!! =)

ANGEL_scribbled * -4:12 PM

Monday, October 03, 2005

from hong shen's blog:

Remember the time
When you were here inside my dream
I wish you'll be mine
You're understanding what I mean
Discover and see
That you're the only one for me
Together we'll be free
That's how it's meant to be...

ahaha.. im like.. going around copying meaningful passage.. ahaha.. =x

bear with me.. im at a critical period of my life.. it might be a turning point to me...

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:23 PM

alwayz thinking of how miserable life can be yet i neglected about how wonderful it can be too..

i bet.. the stress is from myself.. im the wrong kind of gal..

it was never courage.

it is just a plain silly and selfish decision i might make.

if i choose to let go..

i overestimate my ability to let everything go

and underestimate your importance to me.

what have i done?

what should i do?

everyone telling me not to stress.. stay strong.. be that confident me.. but yet.. im losing myself.. im breaking down.. i dun wana act as if im very strong.. im a gal after all.. i need that shoulder to lie on.. i need that hug to cool me down.. i need that someone to tell me everything gonna be fine..

a little gal.. im alway one to my dad and mum.. the very first time.. i cried.. the very first time i feel.. totally break down.. no scolding frm anyone.. mum said.. im the kind of gal.. if ppl doesnt appreciate.. it's their lost.. why shld i bother? sound logical..

im no longer playful.. no longer wild.. i wana be the right kind of gal... being with the right kind of guy.. =)

happiness ahead... i will look forward.. with dream.. there will be hope...

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:00 PM

a frightened lonely heart
seeks to wander with the passing of dreams
my heart continues to be soaked
my tears melt in deep red
and then i see you standing there
my eyes overflow again
im following you in my dream
you ease my deepest pain
yet.. brought me the greatest pain

ANGEL_scribbled * -9:58 PM

maybe

maybe just another girl you met on the streets.
maybe just another girl you see.
maybe just a girl you forget.
maybe you remember me.
maybe i remember you.
maybe you think of me.
maybe i think of you too.
maybe you are the one from all.
maybe im the one from all.
maybe,
maybe our paths are crossed.
maybe will it be a dot, where our love is always there.
maybe will it be another relationship.
maybe it will be forever.
maybe, we wouldnt know, unless fate bestows.
maybe we shall try.
you and me...
maybe.

ANGEL_scribbled * -9:56 PM

i didnt know, to be born as a girl and to be loved... was so hard. and since im a girl, to whom love... is everything.

she loved him.
..... and that, perhaps, was the saddest thing of all.

ANGEL_scribbled * -7:20 PM

i started my day with tears..

i started my study with stress..

a simple msg is enough to make me smile.. i shall be content..

thankz for that simple msg.. =)

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:39 PM

Sunday, October 02, 2005

我从来不会为了自己所做的决定而感到后悔！

i eat a lot today.. even though i wake up only in the late afternoon.. yet.. i still manage to eat 4 meals within a day.. 化悲愤为食量！ahaha..

had 2 plates of bee hoon in the morning.. and went to slp after tat..

when i wake up.. it's about dinner time le.. daddy is mad today.. and we went along with his madness.. we actually went to 3 places in order to finish our "dinner"..

firstly.. went macperson for prawn noodle.. den geylang for "tou hua".. den whampoa for satay and "ou lua".. ahaha.. okie.. i admit i duno how to spell..

my sister was stress.. so she eat so much to 化压力为食量！as for me.. im sad.. so i eat so much to 化悲愤为食量！- weird us -

running away from the problem wun solve everything.. giving up is the only way ma? let fate stop here ma?

我累了! 我只想拥有一个爱我，让我依靠的人。。

the answer you gave is equal to "you dun love me anymore".

you waited for 7 years... and im going to wait for 7 years in return ma?

i shall be quiet from now on.. i wun blog anything down anymore.. i dun wish to pressure anyone.. i dun wan to bring misery to anyone.. I DUN WAN!!

even if i get burn by the steam when im working.. even if i got into some accident than i will never be alive again.. even if something really bad happened to me.. i also dun wan anyone to cry for me!! I DUN WAN!!

be it.. i deserve to be treated like "nobody"...........

ANGEL_scribbled * -11:09 PM

Which types of love i'll experience?

the result:

Just like Cinderella, you were the heroine of a beautiful and happy love story in your former life. This does not mean that you were born with this privilege or that you necessarily had this happiness until the end of your life. You actually witnessed the harshness of reality as child, including the loss of your parents and poverty.

But all this darkness disappeared the moment you met the love of your life and a new bright light started to shine toward your way. You ultimately gained happiness and honor through love.
Both of you genuinely loved each other and enjoyed a blissful life for a very long time. It is just natural that this genuine life in your previous existence can only be a blessing in this present moment.

This may be the opportunity to work for charity by helping out other people in need and to be thankful.

a bit the lame right? one year ago.. i took this quiz and i got a totally different result from what i got now..

result one year ago:

You were a purely naive person who was scared to be hurt. This led you to love a person from afar but the chance that you came together was very slim.

You were a sociable person but oddly enough, you became the shy and quiet
person in front of the person you liked. The painful event occurred when the day your object of affection became another person's mate and moved to another faraway place. You have to accept the fact that you will not see a relationship in the future if you don't start gaining some courage to make that crucial advance. You can start with taking subtle steps toward that person.

im gaining some courage and self confidence in myself? or i changed due to the one i love?

ANGEL_scribbled * -8:43 AM

im early again.. yeapx.. i haven slp... -_-

im too full to slp now.. my breakfast is "running" about in my stomach.. FULL!!

my mummy was still awake when i reach home.. how surprising.. it's like around 6+ when i reach home lor..

actually.. feeling kinda moody.. i really dun wish to think too much too.. but den.. it just keep "running" in my mind.. i cant make it stop..!!

forever everlasting love..

i don't believe in everlasting love..
But, why am i yearning for one?

People say love will fade...
But, why they will fall in love in the very first place?

放心去爱。。我会得到幸福的。。
我在你心里还占着那重要的位子吗？
我现在想哭，你能让我依靠吗?

ANGEL_scribbled * -8:01 AM

Saturday, October 01, 2005

i noe.. it's early.. and i haven slp.. hmmm.. but somehow.. dun feel lyk sleeping.. afraid of the sleep will bring me to some errie nightmare..

firstly.. gotta congrat that silly blur block guardian angel of mine.. he FINALLY finish his papers.. and FINALLY "bother" about me lei.. hmpf.. it had been about 1 month ever since we really have a nice talk.. and had been about 3 weeks ever since we last meet up lor.. ahem! but anyway.. i pray hard that he will do well for this exam.. i noe he made a lot of effort in studying.. =) coz he can study and dun even bother about me.. hmpf.. *hOw sad!*

for your punishment for ignoring me for the past 1 month is... wait for me to finish school everyday.. ahaha.. =x oPps.. unreasonable demand from me.. bleaHx..

Extracted from jie's profile..

I am not who you think I am.
I am not who I think I am.
I am who I think you think I am.
Each of us has different kinds of masks,
but they all give us something to hide behind.
Each one of us is royalty,
thats why each one of us so desperately desires to get the acclaim due a princess.
The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of me,
but the fact that I am me makes me a different kind of woman.
Competitions for popularity often cause us to leave our originality @ the door in order to avoid criticism.
I ain't meant to mirror others;
I am supposed to shine my own original lights.
When I bare my soul, my heart is open for attack.
But I usually cant touch another heart until my heart is open.
I cannot write my own story,
and I cannot control how I write it,
but I can count on the fact that the end of the story will make all of the other chapters worth it.
I hate people who wears mask.
Those who wears mask mock and ridicule.
Those who wears mask yearn for liberations.
If people are so distracted by what a person I am,
then they will most certainly never see what a person I am.
Thats the fact why I am still attracting the wrong kind of guys.

Life is full of an interesting cast of characters.
Since we are always on the stage of our own lifes,
& never in the audience,
we failed to realize just how much of an impact the background have on our lives and everyday performance.
Honest is a key word in my heart and mind.
Truth is a key word that shout liars.
Sometimes being on our kness isn't enough to make it in this life--we need to be on our faces...
Think of the future & not the past,
that's the life we should lived in.

Until one has loved, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

im thinking of my future.. and not my past.. you love the present me or the past me? neither do i want you to act blur or pretend that you duno anything.. all i wana noe.. am i still the key to your heart?

this holiday made me realised alot.. realise the feeling of waiting.. realise the feeling of missing.. realise the feeling of wanting to call someone yet afraid to disturb.. realise the feeling of being miserable.. realise the feeling of sadness.. realise the werid way im acting.. realise that you actually mean so much to me..

we might be different in many many ways.. we might not be the 100% suitable people to be together... but yet.. wat's there to attract me to you? and wat's there to attract you to me?

but now.. im unsure of you.. unsure tat am i the one you love? am i the one you wana be with? am i the one you wana tolerate? am i the one to make you angry yet in return make you love me more? am i the perfect one to you? am i.... "the one" in your heart?

been thinking over and over the whole night.... was afraid to slp and find out that everything i wished for is the opposite..........

ANGEL_scribbled * -6:56 AM