+ . . [ [ :: the angel in disguise

Sunday, January 28, 2007

tears roll down for some reason that i dun wish to elaborate.

the reason of it is not bcoz i didnt go out for party. the reason was.. not being understand.

i wished myself to be as understanding as everyone wants me to be. but apparently, wishes is always so miracle to happen.

since i got nothing better to do. i started packing my room. playing psp. online. reading comics. but every single thing that i do.. tears still roll and it's endless.

knowing that you are tired, i dun wish to bother you so much over my "you so called" unreasonable. if what you said is powerless, i would have insist in going. but what was being indicated is that.. im asking a "stupid qns".

waiting and waiting.. my everyday seems to be waiting for you to come back, waking you up to work and looking at you sleeping. I know you are busy, that's why i waited patiently and dun wish to make much noise over it also. but due to you being stress, whatever i do, i say become a reason of quarrel. im the one that always make you angry and pissed.

you want me to understand your stressness, your tiredness and everything. Than how abt me? who to understand me than?

have you ever consider understanding how i feel den?

since duno when.. i stopped complaining.. i stopped nagging.. i stopped calling out.. and i stopped sms-ing. i used to bother darling so much over my sadness. i used to talk to shan over all my unhappiness. i used to nag and nag and nag... but now.. im keeping everything to myself.. all to myself.

ANGEL_scribbled * -8:28 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

pathetic.

i waited pathetically till 7+ for your return and now waited pathetically for you to ans the call.

and now.. finally i have the time to call you... you dun wana ans the call.. den what?

am i not that impt?
or am i not needed anymore?

basically.. whatever...

im having a serious headache now.. and no one is bothering..

fuck off.

ANGEL_scribbled * -7:50 PM

waiting for baby to come back..

waiting and hmmM waiting..

basically.. nothing much to blog ya.
okie.. im bored ya.

no much gathering due to exam period and also work. therefore, everyone seems to be busy with their stuff.

to sum up everything from 8th jan till now. meet up with kenneth and shikin to celebrate shikin's bday. it was a surprise that we planned for shikin. to "surprise" at lau par sa for seafood den headed for mahjong game afterward.

eh... im feeling rather lost now.. for certain reason that i dun wish to say. firstly, dun wish to add on any stress to anyone. secondly, dun wish to make myself so 'unreasonable'. thirdly, i think im just thinking too much.

since i cant sleep.. and there's no reply also.. hMmm.. continue to wait den..

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:57 AM

Sunday, January 14, 2007

危险情人

一片漆黑的戏院
一段感情才正要上演
黑暗把世界都隔绝
谎言就像经过了排练
戏里戏外忽然分不出真伪
穿梭在两个世界

如果故事真的可以经过剪接
就算眼泪滑落到嘴边
那结局至少好一点

美丽的情节
一但迷恋太危险
过程得到的喜悦
装扮过的脸通通都得死一回

美丽的配乐
哭泣叹息都遮掩
带我入戏的导演
卡片只写著 the end

椎心刺骨的画面
他们看得那黱无所谓
只是打发时间消遣
我像走不出来的演员
面对曲终人散却还闲著眼
幻想另一个结尾

你的欺骗如果可以持续上演
最后或许痛会少一点
让我自己慢慢发觉

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:25 AM

the one.

i turned my head,
but there's no one behind.

i shut myself up,
waiting for you to pick me up.

the one that im waiting for,
where are you?

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:22 AM

Monday, January 08, 2007

M.I.A

basically.. looking thru all my friends blog as i can. kinda realised.. we had been missing out alot alot..

DONT CARE! I WANA MEET ALL THAT I WANA KNOW THEIR RECENT LIFE AND HOW ARE THEY LE!

had a huge huge quarrel yest with baby. YES. as usual, my bloody hell attitude problem pissed him off. and yet.. i still said SO. knowing myself that im being brought up like this, even though i tried hard to change myself, im still so stubborn, still so attitude.

i recalled throwing temper on dad and mum that day. reason being.. auntie visit and im having a serious mood swing. i also threw temper on sis and bro when they wana take food for me. YES. im so demanding. I KNOW. but den... SO?

it's been some times ever since i kick the habit of eating chocolate especially kinder burneo whenever my auntie visit. this mth, i just feel like eating again. and whenever den... i behave like this, remind me of...........

anyway... shall look ahead. a new yr. i have my new yr resolutions too. and first of all.. not to look back anymore. =)

seriously.. it unlikely for anyone to understand what i am blogging.. bcoz... it dun sound logical.. it also dun hv any story stated behind.

my mood is swinging again.. im sorry if i gonna be attitude again. i will try to hold back if i can. if i ever realise the reason of being so pissed and attitude, im still looking at the past.

the way i used to be doted.
the way i used to be loved.
the way i used to be adore.
NO MORE.
it's scolding now.
it's "for my own good".
it's "i need to grow up".
it's stop being unreasonable.

i wished that there's no memories, so i would not compare the past and now and future. my heart aches when you scolded me in front of them. and.... i kept quiet and quiet. i nearly cried in front of them, but i hold back as well. wondering how many of them are laughing at me now due to you.

for all that you told me, dont wish "anything" to happen to us, and the effort you put in.. was to scold me!

hold back again.
tears NO MORE.
i could not cry as if i cried, you will say that im making you guilty.

princess NO MORE.

for the coincidence that happened... i only left to trust. the path that i took, no turning back. if i didnt asked you to stay at the point of time, maybe you will be happier now with her. if i didnt expect so much frm you, maybe you will not feel stress. if i didnt earn more den you, maybe you would not feel useless. if..... im not around, den would everything be better?

i felt.... not being appreciated.
i felt.... worthless.
im supposed to be priceless and being kept properly and loved but... it's no longer this way.

trust and endure. that's all i can do now.

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:49 AM

Monday, January 01, 2007

merry belated xmas and a happy new year.

well.. fun overall.

celebrated both days with my beloved.

firstly xmas. - ling, john, shan, shuhui, eddy, shar, jasper, jove, kelly, baby and me.

dinner at baby's place. did not sleep for the past 2 days and was awake all along to prepare for the steamboat food. TIRED. anyway... it was a wonder dinner. though some of them went to club after that.. but it's still fun to have everyone having dinner together.. heex..

and my xmas frm baby was a diamond ring.
eddy gave me a tigger pillow.
shar gave me a precious moment musical box.
sunzi gave me a wallet and coin purse.
taka voucher was given by company for my hard earn performance. haha.

MY PRESENTS..

talking abt new yr. was thinking of clubbing but due to some consideration, did not go in the end. went to cine for countdown and after that to watch movie. lucky we book tickets le. if not, i dun think we can get any of the tickets. haha. =x funny thing is that the people at our back bought the next day ticket instead of today. haha. =x well.. it was fun.. pictures was taken and wishes is blessed among us. heex.

hopefully tonight will be fun too.. WEEHEE.. im going st james power station. woOoo.. of coz.. with darling shikin, dearie marilyn and my beloved lao gong and baby.. eddy and dearest xiaomei shar too worz.. =) i can predict that it will be fun ya.. heex. =)

US!!

THE 3 NAN REN LA.

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:02 PM