+ . . [ [ :: the angel in disguise

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

updates.

meet up with my ladies on fri. understand that gal is sad, and her way of releasing herself made me felt sad too. whatever she told me before.. i think i said to her too. yes. it's different in a way. but guess im more pathetic to cry for someone that i never be with before. i used to cry like how she did. i used to get drunk as much as how she is that day, perharp im more drunk. till the end, when you finish with hanging over and staying sober, everything will still remain the same and unchange. to only encourage you will be staying by your side. i have the shoulder for you to lie on and cry. i have my love for you to teng you but.. i cant replace him inside your heart. time will heal. im healing and i hope you will too. my dear gal, must stay strong alright? =)

meet up with nu er also. my heart aches for her. very xin tong. but than, i will also stand by your side alright?

my darling... meet me!! i wana go ktv and gossip with you. even though i dun have the voice. shall we meet up very very soon? fri to sun. IM OFF. and i will be on day team frm monday onwards. which means, we can go for dinner together!! pls, date me out!! im waiting for you to be free for me....!!

gal and lao da going thai on april. I ALSO WANA GO. duno if i can get my leave.. haiz...

some pictures to be uploaded.

nice pic taken with dear. i like.

i like this too.

US. kenneth, maine and dom.

sweets.

gal and maine

lao da and lao er

US. the ladies.

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:47 AM

Monday, March 26, 2007

SICK! - again

alright. declare sick again.

i got no voice and i sound like shit now. apparently, the doctor asked me to cut dwn on speech and dun talk. so how am i going to work? haha.

i registered for UNI already. pursing on my degree very soon. =)

oh my.. heard a news frm my "beloved tweety" (haha). i cant imagine someone being so "thick-skin" for thinking that "I WILL LIKE HIM"! FAINTED!!

pissed. - who the hell be so thick skin to be afraid that others will like you? HELLO. you are not a gal, you dun have to be afraid. i shall be the one who shld be afraid. yes. do understand that rumor spreads, but i strongly believe if i got nth to do abt it, anything you say. what for, i mind?

alright. mind me for over reacting. apparently, i guess rumor spread due to that night at power hse. as a frenz, i felt that if im the one who "make" you drunk due to challenging, i have my right to take care of you. so be it, i did took care. i din do anything wrong but yet.. it was being mistaken for a good intention. feeling very... YUAN WANG.

i shall shut up den. -_-

ANGEL_scribbled * -10:56 PM

Thursday, March 22, 2007

thanks to all my DEARS

i had fun today.

thanks for all who accompany me.
thanks for all who make me smile.
thanks for all who make me laugh.

i really enjoyed and appreciate. =)

regardless of my tired body, tired mind. im happy over the fun we had. it makes me forgot my sadness and trouble. and given me courage to face the coming future. im really touched and felt very glad to have all of you as my frenz. =)

ANGEL_scribbled * -6:32 AM

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

i felt.... neglected. not loved. not cared. not bothered.

ANGEL_scribbled * -2:15 AM

Monday, March 19, 2007

i had a super bad dream.

im the one who duno how to appreciate?
OR
it's true that thing is changing and not like the past?

may i have the ans to it?

i know.. i felt.. something is different. but what is it? you dun wish to tell me.. you dun wana tell me.. or are we just waiting for each other to end it?

i just simply want you to teng me, tolerate me, give in to me. be it.. i know my character and my temper.. i know it all.. but, im born to be like this.. and im always like this. i tried to change but i just cant.

we alway mistaken each other caring as questioning.
we alway mistaken each other for being sensative.
we alway mistaken each other dun love anymore.

i dun wan quarrels too. i dun wan NO trust. i dun wan NO love. i dun wan NO care.

there's alway changes in everyone. i have not change. im still the unreasonable and demanding princess.

i dun wish that my prince will change......

i do love and cherish you as much as i want. pls allow me to do so.. and not letting me cry and doubt alone.

if im no longer the one being loved by you, i doubt there's any point to stay.

ANGEL_scribbled * -6:04 AM

Friday, March 16, 2007

i just read "someone" blog. and came to realise... they mentioned "love" have a time frame. it's stated as.. "we will be giving each other another chance, but if till this certain date, nothing works out, we shall let go and give up."

haha... lol. i felt so.. "childish" for someone at their age to say something like this. it's an insult to love. and it's a tragic.

i strongly feel that everyone has their own temper and limit. just like me.. i know im unreasonable almost all the time. bad temper and etc. taking advantage to those who gave in to me. regardless of what... if you could not take my temper, i wun force you. my limit has a cap too. and i can tolerate your attitude towards me.... but there will always be a day.. i will brk down and bring myself to "the limit".

i hate changes. i hate it. i hate ppl telling me.. ren hui bian. if there's an element of love, the way being treated shld not be different. the only things that changes... will only be.. you no longer love that person as much as before.

did you reach your cap in tolerating me? and will that be your limit already?

i felt different. like mentioned, im no longer the princess you adore. im being scolded by you when i argue with you. im not being give in. i cried but you always take it as im just being unreasonable.

maybe the love.. no longer that strong. but... r/s makes me feel disappointed. and..... im trying to get something improved.. but apparently... it's not improving...

so how? and what shld i be doing den?

ANGEL_scribbled * -8:50 AM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

recall you telling me... will be bringing me to the wedding dinner.

recall our singing.

recall my love for you.

recall the love for me.

recall the movies together.

recall the calls made to each other.

i admit the fact that i misses you. but the past than i could not let go... i dun even understand what am i holding on.

holding on to the one i love but did not get together?
or
holding on to the love that waited for so long?

who to define will not be me anymore.

i wish and hope i can change everything to be back to the past... but things is changing to the unknown future. and it's seems to be a future without you.

i said.... it's ended... but has it really ended?

currently... 15 mar. counting down... 2 days to 17 mar. to the bday i did not forget.

if you happened to be reading this happy advance bday to you.

yes. i admit i misses you lots. and really hope you do take gd care. =)

ANGEL_scribbled * -6:49 AM

cries and cry out loud

i mean it for torturing myself.

cried. and cry out loud. im feeling superly unstable now.

cry and cry and cry.

i dun even know what im thinking now.

wishing to be alone.
hiding everything to myself.

and dun wish to admit how im feeling now.

the feel of everything sux.
im feeling sux.

and YOU are the reason WHY.

ANGEL_scribbled * -6:27 AM

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

having serious gastric and high fever. wisdom tooth hurts too.

i seems to be torturing myself. and for certain reason.. i reckon why am i doing all this harmful stuff to myself.

all to say.. had not been eating proper meal. as usual. not having gd rest. not having enough time for slp. thinking too much. stressing myself.

im going to pursue my degree. the course to take up. im still considering. either management or my interest. media.

to be updated. im not at the right mood to blog now.

ANGEL_scribbled * -3:49 AM

Thursday, March 08, 2007

我以为

你曾说不想有天让我知道
你对他有那么好
你说会懂我的失落
不是靠宽容就能够解脱

我以为我出现的时候刚好
你和他正说要分开
我以为你已对他不再期待
不纵容他再给你伤害

我以为我的温柔
能给你真的愉悦
我以为我能全力
填满你感情缺口
专心陪在你左右
弥补他一切的错
也许我太过天真
以为奇迹会发生

我以为终究你会慢慢明白
他的心不在你身上
我的关心你依然无动于衷
我的以为只是我以为

他让你红了眼眶你却还笑着原谅
原来你早就想好你要留在谁身旁
我以为我够坚强却一天天地失望
少给我一点希望希望就不是奢望
却输得那呢绝望

ANGEL_scribbled * -5:58 AM

to gal. for the r/s that you ended, cry no more k? cheer up, stand up and continue the path that you have ahead. =)

pathetic. had been missing out alot.. alot of frenz had forgotten all abt me. wanted to meet up but apparently, no chance/no time/no fate.

my darling mrs lim whom i misses so much. my dearest sunzi also. of coz, lao da and gal. my cutie pie bitch and mr blackbird. ahem. M.I.A?

time to get a life man.. -_-

im in a superly down mood now. though i can still smile, laugh, gossip, the inner me had not been feeling happy for quite some time.

acting superly childish. smiling. laughing. acting stupid. but im not smiling inside. whoever understand what i mean.. you are the god. haha.

btw.. to those who are not aware. im a legal driver since 28 feb 07. =)

ANGEL_scribbled * -5:31 AM